I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
