Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I need moral support for this bender
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
