So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
