dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
