I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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