new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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