Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
