Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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