we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
