Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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