i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
