We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
