thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
