do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
