I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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