I just made out with a guy for $7.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
