Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
