I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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