Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
