U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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