His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
