office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
