yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
