Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
