I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
