Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
