I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
