Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
