I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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