You can't motorboat a personality
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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