I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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