i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
