I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
