After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
