K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he thought i was a dude.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
