you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
