ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
