sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
