I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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