opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
