Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
whose parrot is this?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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