Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
