so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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