3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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