i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
