maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
