That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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