GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
