in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
