Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
