I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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